Idea for John

[cherie]

I was recently, as recently as two minutes ago, on John Doheny's site reading his Westender article about the dearth of consumers for jazz cd's. (The description of these bachelors should include cardigans of gray covered in recently fallen strands of what hair remains defining the tonsure of their monk-like heads). But I digress. Cross marketing is what needs to happen. We need to study the demographic that is shelling out money and market to it. Jazz artists should be composing cd's that can be packaged with gardening supplies, or birdwatching kits. The compositions themselves should be reminiscent of a day in the back 4- 4 meters that is. Or suggestive of a momentary flash of the chested nutwing. Today's consumer will pay hundreds of bucks at the till to pick up little plastic pseudo shoes, and leather inset gloves, or bawana wear for birding expeditions. In the evening, they can pop in a cd and be reminded of the glories of a day spent in serious hobby pursuits as they plan the next jaunt to the store for even more supplies... and add another hit of jazz to that list, Mabel.

[John Doheny]

Thanks Cherie, We here at Dohenycorp. inc. are always receptive to new marketing ideas.

In fact , if I may draw your attention to a previous post in which I express a small difference of opinion with Alex Varty over the newsworthyness of a certain Norwegian Percussionist, I'd like to clue you ( and other Forum readers) in on my latest plan for world domination.

I'd reread the article in question several times looking for angles I might be able to use in my own marketing strategies. Finally, as the thought popped into my head " Christ! This is such a bunch of baloney!" inspiration struck, and I composed the following press release.


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE.


DOHENY QUINTET APPEARING AT THE CELLAR MARCH 27th. DEBUT PERFORMANCE OF INSTRUMENTS MADE OF MEAT.


John Doheny, who will be appearing at the Cellar Restaurant and Jazz Club March 27th, will perform on a saxophone made entirely of meat. " I've been greatly inspired by Norwegian percussionist Terje Isungset's recent CD "Iceman Is", in which he and his bandmates perform on instruments made of ice," says Doheny. "They even recorded in a studio made largely of ice and snow. " The idea of using meat came from reading an article on Jana Sterbak's all-meat sculpture "Evening Dress", although, says Doheny, "I've stopped short of insisting Cellar owner-operator Cory Weeds re-upholster the club with meat, as there might be health and esthetic issues we'd rather not deal with."

Doheny has been sequestered in his West End apartment for the past week working on an instrument he calls the Baloney-phone." It's a saxophone made entirely of baloney, including the reed. I've been experimenting with a Deli-grade salami slicer to get it the right thickness for that. And Norm Quinn, my trumpet player, is working on a meat trumpet made of pimento loaf."

-30-



Now in the old days, I would have had to run down to the corner store to fax these things out, giving me plenty of time for sober second thought. But in these days of amazingly configurable e-mail programs, one has but to click 'send' and BAM! the thing is plunked into the 'in' box of every arts editor in town, leaving me thinking," My God! what have I DONE?

In my defense I'd like to point out that March 27th is quite close to April 1st.